Relationships are wonderful and messy! They fill us up with love and jab with pain. There is no getting away from its highs and its lows. As I listen to couples telling their stories it really strikes me how unequipped we are as humans in cultivating healthy relationships with ourselves and others.

Our caregivers sometimes had no clue about how to foster a secure attachment with you and their own partners. You might have learned to hide in complacency to avoid your caregivers’ discontent. Maybe defensiveness or rebelliousness became your only ally to avoid feeling judged and shamed by your parents. Understandable. Human. Bad news is that according to research on relational intelligence these and many other unexamined maladaptive habits tend to poison and slowly erode the fabric of our adult relationship over time.

Good news is that damage can be acknowledged and healed. Relational skills are totally trainable. Together we’ll look into a mirror and explore how you create your own hurt. We’ll look at it without making it your or your partner’s or your parents’ fault. We’ll meet your blind spots with compassion. I’ll help your partner to do the same. If you are coming by yourself, you’ll see more clearly what’s in your control.

Insight, empathy and capacity to accept and nurture each other differences is a skillset with a science behind it. It takes practice like any other skill building – be it a new language, a craft, new profession or bigger muscle.

You might be moving at different pace. Your motivation might differ. If you come with a dilemma of whether to stay or go, we’ll take an honest look at what’s underneath the pull and push and see what’s in your control to accept or change.

I’ve trained in many different models of therapy and continue to deepen my understanding of what does actually mental health mean. Having said all that, your story is unique. And I am as human as you are. I will not have all the answers but I promise to create a space where you’d feel heard, understood and given honest feedback. I will always want to hear your feedback too.

If you would like to discuss your situation, share your goals for therapy and see if we’ll be a good match, contact me here!  I also speak fluent Russian.